jungle

Trekking through this hostile jungle, what were we searching for in that unforgiving wasteland?
Who among us knew just what lay behind the murky green -- did it bother us?  We were four with one heart hungering after the power.  What source could feed us better than how we were already potent.  Possibly only what would be stronger.  But he my brother was swallowed up before I could warn him.
Because I knew but failed.  And it leaves a heavy mark on my mind now that I recall.  Because it really means quite nothing: for I never anyone to call a brother. Unless he was a Given; and it would only predict that I will lose something in the cold womb of the unseen future.
    He disappeared beneath the deep, textured green.  Years of encrustation, sediment disturbed.  So enmired with all the dirt that it could no longer be water; except that it was.  It harbored living things.
But that was the spectacle of it, the swamp was a grim entity in itself, a creation of unique quality, and stark in its characteristics.  Through such terrible beauty it gave birth to her monsters.  Worse than I could ever be in that search: one of them reached up and devoured this unknown brother; signifying my inevitable loss in the future.  [Oh] if only I could have let you be rescued!  But I knew not at this point, even now, of my strength and its extent.  And in the blindness of anger I risked not what I knew -- and I knew too little.  About the horrors of this sentient [vegetable-matter] hell: 

the jungle envisioned:
This expansive wasteland of green, defiled.  Of ancient wisteria twisted into the crevices amongst roots of even older trees and their hoary, gargantuan arms heavy with loads of moss, untouched during all these years.  For stranger even still, there were no natural creatures that nested in these guardians.

    Jaculii gliding across with sureness and grace, never falling off once.  I launched into the deep and as a blur moved with the Second Gift to the forefront, my eyes adjusting to the gloom despite the absence of the emasculated sun.  It lacking its frightful majesty here on the very edge of madness.  And my brother was not there!  How did I miss him?  Not so, let it not be; and I opened up my Sight to prevail over the opaque gloom.  Where I flew beneath the surface of these waters.  In the rush for I had to go back and recover him.  I felt I had someone beside me in this flight.  But now I know that it was fear, pain and anxiety -- and much power riding in this flight to save, beside me.  Several leviathan passed by, languorous how they appear to me.  For I moved too fast at once, and then too slow for them to show me their great toothed maws.  That once long ago could’ve latched unto another hapless victim.  But hidden within the muck I need not to maintain secrecy concerning mmyself, for what I am.

    And I am the Childe empowered with strength and light.  An angel with much anger to destroy you, ancient of Evil who resides in these depths.  But I pay you no mind, not now as I pass you.  A monolith in this un-water: larger than houses, twice as long, with backs of plate armor and appearing as felled trees left by the discontented logger; indiscriminate in his tiredness, in his frustration.

    I mind them not, if only for my brother...
I rushed past them, with the fibrilation once too much for my weakened heart, my terrified, unknowing heart: was he still alive?  Or had these foul, lazy beasts crunched him in twain, was this search Futile?
Heedless, no!  Let this not be so!  (But wonders anew: I was so strong...).  No time to test my newly-discovered powers. But I have it! Hah, I have it! And perhaps knew at this time that he could no longer be saved ...  as I flew underneath, stirring the legion of alien-like lilies afloat upon the murk, returning to the other two that accompanied us.  In my fear, I had neglected their safety, too.  But were they aware, had they seen?  Had they the same strengths as I?  My mind returned to the days of my youth: and did I have this much back then?  Was I the victim back when? And who from Life and beauty turned this face to see only Darkness and Spite?  My heart trembles at the sign, for I shall never truly know...

A youth vaguely in focus:
My father calls out for me to feed the animals, for they are now my pets.  These puny adorable hounds, yapping in awful hunger.  When all I could think of was my own savage thirst, a hunger gnawing undeniably into my soul.  I flew out into the deep of the night, crying out and enraged; enraptured by the power of darkness.  And her, the endearments and whispers of Luna: I flew as a blur, seeking to quench this Hurt.  And my reverie back into the early days was snatched back to the present, where horrors lay, unchallleneged.

    And to the hell in the water.  (We) settled down into the slipshod craft: they were screaming, then quietly hoarse, and they half-heartedly queried me what transpired.  I could not face my failure.  I had lost the brother I never really had. 


98 Feb 23 (c) copyright owned by Siddharta Somar 
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